Well, you darlin' lil regionalist bigot, we here in the South don't much care for your baseless superior attitude at all. It's astonishingly clear to us that you & Suez are a better match. Enjoy, sugah! No need to rush back.

John Berendt you ain't. Go home, back to the pee-scented tomb of Grant and the gold-gilted statue of Sherman. They have Panamanians in hotel lobbies up there too.

I can't tell you how I wish I'd made your acquaintance in the hotel lobby. Think of it! Five generations of Southern Comfort dashed in your face, burning your virulently
occluded eyes!

Fuck the South? Never. You idiot, you fucked one of the servants! Don't feel bad, Jefferson made the same mistake.

Well, Gaw-leeee! You knowed Andrew Sullivan? Now there's one highly edukated gay guy. Reckin' he kin git yew on Fox News? Coz most of ore bulimic 30-something women and over-buffed, over-tan men with silver hair watch that thare Fox News, causin' that Ted Turner, he an atheist. Thatsa why God sent thet tornado to CNN.

Heavens to Betsy! You stayed at some fleabag hotel by the airport, had unprotected sex with an illegal alien, and you think you understand the South now? Wait, let me guess, you're a New England Republican, aren't you?

Sugah Child, you don't even understand your own SELF, not to mention the South.

Suez forgot his knife, lucky you. Oh, by the way, John Walsh called. He need some information.

I bet nobody asks you to dance at the 40 Watt Club. You can't use the Civil War as a prophylactic, dumbass.

Now I feel like I really have gotten to know you, honey. Your mind, your personality, all of you -- it's all a short story!

I guess you're disappointed Athens has no ancient temple celebrating homos, huh? Well, pee on a tree stump and something your kind will be along shortly. uga

You're painfully insecure, promiscuous, playing roulette with your life and anybody else's, and you want to blame an entire region of the country for that? You need help and I can see that you get it. Just call the number and give the crew your codename Southfucker. You need a reality check big time.

Minneapolis. Paradise for you and Mary Tyler Moore...IN FICTION!

It is so much easier to forget than to have been Suez.

Pasty white people always wantin' our brown sugar then lookin' down on us like we invented classism and racism. Well, Jason, I can promise you'll never be invited to the Atlanta Driving Club for supper. And no one fucks the waiters there, no one. We fuck each other's spouses like nice white straight people are supposed to.

Hey Buddy, Jesus loves you. Unfortunately, we don't much care for you.

You think maybe you could get your buddy Andrew Sullivan to get his best buddies Rumsfeld and Ashcroft to maybe code your passport with a chip that would prevent you from having to go through this painful experience of visiting the South again?

The guvnuh would be happy to sign off on it.

It is so much easier to forget Jason than to have had him.

Still pickin' hair off ya teeth now, aren't cha Suez?

Now now, go easy on this interloper...all these comments were written by the same person. Schizophrenia is still a stigmatized disorder in our culture, so let's try not to marginalize.

Ya'll is seriously screwed on yall's geography if ya'll thinks that DC suburbs are nawth and anything b'low Chicago is south. Y'll evuh heeuh of Mason and Dick, son?

Ah bet ya'll don't like REM neither. Kiss Suez's grits is whut I say.

Y'all Southerners think you pretty slick...everytime i watch them Simpsons on Teevee when i see Cletus and him familee on them, its a laugh riot!

All 18 of us still think you're a bigot. The other 9 are too ladylike to comment.

Well well well, you would think being down sounth in the hot sun and all would have thicken up the skin for the folks down there.... i guess NOT! Get over it and move on! Unless your house have 18 wheels then, ok. Oh and what's with them Southern girls/old hags with the 80s bangs... lol

Listen, if it weren't for the South and Catholicism and Mormonism, there wouldn't be any gay men worth as much as a pitcherful of warm spit.

You Minnesota gayboys are aberrations!

Oh, begone before someone drops an interstate bridge on you!

His call name was Suez because for an extra 15 bucks he'd have given you an enema. Too bad, it could've improved your bad attitude.

That was one of the most fascinating things I've read in a long time.

This is your brain on drugs.

Oh my. While you're not pissing off the medicated locals, you're dabbling in civil engineering projects I see! ;-)

I too, harbor a special disdain for a certain part of the US as you might be aware. There has to be some way to channel a surly sense of cultural superiority into cheap renewable energy. We could power the entire United States and I personally wouldn't have to pay another electric bill to keep my apartment toasty warm in the bitter Minnesota winters.

Off topic, but the CAPTCHA word for this post is Yoga.

Holy Shit. Not sure which one of these posts is my favorite. Maybe the bridge one?

Speaking of collapsed interstate spans, I'll be in Mpls. Friday and Sat. Looks like you'll be on my end of the country. If not, 19 Bar?